Common Usage Utilities

Recently, IISc has launched a bicycle drive. In this drive, common utility bicycles are available for use at various locations inside the campus. These bicycles are always unlocked and can be used by any person inside IISc. There are certain requirements like, we are not allowed to take them outside the campus, we should park them at specified locations etc etc. I don’t want to go into the details here. What I want to talk about is, my thoughts when I heard about this novel concept.

Since the beginning of the bicycle drive with the concept of common usage bicycles, the little piece of imagination within me has been toying with the idea of whether this common usage policy can be extended to objects other than just the humble two wheeled bicycle. The following are some of the ideas I could come up with. I don’t claim that they are practical. Some people may even find them outrageous. But the intention was not to provide practical ideas, the idea was to make at attempt at amusing the reader.

1. Common Usage Cycle Rickshaw -> A friend of mine seemed none too eager on using the common bicycles. I learnt that my friend had difficulty in balancing on two wheels. So I wondered, why not have more than two wheels. In case tricycles are hard to procure, there are many unused cycle rickshaws around. It will not be difficult to balance it and it might also encourage people to do some social service and carry around a few hitchhikers.
2. Common Usage Boyfriends/Girlfriends -> Why stop at abandoned bicycles/cycle rickshaws? We can include single and eligible bachelors/bachelorettes into the common usage drive. The holiday season can be a lonely time on campus. There will be volunteers parked at strategic locations on campus. If you are not feeling like walking alone, feel free to pick up a suitable volunteer (depending on your orientation), take them for a ride around the campus and dump them at specified locations. Its like emotional Viagra for the flaccid at heart.
3. Common Usage Electric Stoves and Cutlery -> We have to admit, instant tea/coffee from the machine is not the same as man made tea/coffee. Presence of a stove and cutlery with a bit of raw material will enable students to enjoy the beverage of their choice even at the most unearthliest of hours. Those who are not sure of how to prepare tea/coffee need not fret. You can use the volunteers from the previous idea.

I better stop here, else the next thing I might be asking for would be beer dispensing machines all over campus.