Top 5 Excuses (???) for being single on Valentine’s Day

One of the most difficult questions that a guy may have to answer (apart from “What is your salary?”) during his life time is “Why are you single on Valentine’s Day?” Thanks to my vast experience with being single and dealing with such questions, I have amassed a good number of excuses that can be used in various situations, depending on the person who asks you this question and the kind of effect you want to produce on the interviewer. Here are my best 5 excuses along with a few words on the kind of impressions they create and how to use them most effectively.

  1. “I don’t want to lose my freedom at this early stage in my life.”

Cliché but still one of the best. This is an extremely versatile excuse. Makes you sound younger than you actually are. Depending on the effect you want to create you can say it with a detached tone and make an attempt at sounding mature or you can say it with a tongue in cheek tone and make an appeal to irony.

  1. “I am one of those who wants to preserve Indian culture. I think Valentine’s Day is more of western culture. Indian culture is Kamasutra. I have not found a girl who is willing to try out Kamasutra positions with me till now.”

Slightly vulgar excuse but said in the proper tone, it can make you look traditional, yet sexually attractive.

  1. “In this time of recession, this is one of the cost cutting measures I am adopting.”

This excuse is inspired by the people who tend to use the words ‘cost cutting’ whenever someone asks them to loosen their purse strings. Ideally to be used when the interviewer is your superior who is refusing to give you a raise.

  1. “I heard that most commercial lipsticks contain synthetic dyes derived from coal tar. I would not like to expose my lips to carcinogens just for the pleasure of one kiss. And what fun is a Valentine’s Day date without a customary smooch?”

Makes you sound like a well informed man, possessing scientific temper. Also projects you as a man capable of resisting temptation and making sacrifices for the greater good.

  1. “Most of the women I happen to meet are neither smart enough to be my wife, nor stupid enough to be my girlfriend. Hence we end up being ‘just friends’.”

Excellent excuse when the interviewer is an ex.

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2 thoughts on “Top 5 Excuses (???) for being single on Valentine’s Day”

  1. 😀 You may also want to try "It is a tough choice when you have so many contenders… Moreover, I din't want to hurt any of them!"

    You may have the pleasure of imagining the impact on the listener!

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